SAYING GOODBYE ...MISS YOU ALREADY

It hurts a lot when someone important leaves your life. My mind recollects on the joys, all the laughs, all the fights and the tears. It never really hits me though when they say "I'm leaving." The time doesn't really seem to come...until it does. It is then when my heart drops, my palms get sweaty and my allergies start to kick up(tears). I like to tell them closeness has nothing to do with distance, meaning that we can still stay close no matter how far you go, but even that is hard to grasp as an alternative to seeing them everyday. It is the moments when I am hanging out with the usual crew and that person is not that there that it hits me. It is the moments when I ask if you want to see movie but you can't because you live to far. It is the moments like this when I feel I've been hit by a bus and trampled over by elephants. Its the presence of that person that I long for, that I want to hug and be with. Its the face and their eyes I want to look into but I can't for a while and that hurts. It like a stake stabbing me in the heart, or tearing me into tiny pieces like a unwanted piece of paper. When the day comes of departure my mind races: what didn't I say, what didn't I do? I want to make up any lost of time within the last few moments we have together. And reality is I can't. I can though be thankful that blood couldn't make us any closer and our love will last forever!

PEOPLE WATCHING

I've notice how much I enjoy people watching. It may seems strange and kind of stalker-ish but nonetheless it is highly interesting. You can learn a lot about a person by just watching; not talking to them or acknowledging them, but just watching. As I sit here now in the SCCC library I and look over to the man in the blue shirt I can already infer a lot about of his personality. He keeps a constant gaze over the library. Constantly running to the front desk to confront any questions someone might have. He enjoys his jobs. If I look to my left I see a girl in black shirt sitting at table. Her though I can't really figure her out as she frantically writes with her bright Orange mechanical pencil. People watching is like a game. Watching the intense gaze of others as they proceed to their task. I wonder, what are they thinking, what are they worrying about, who are they? You can tell a lot about a person by just watching. How they walk, how they interact, how they etc. People Watching.

Welcome Back

The week of no school, Holiday cheer, and snow was wonderful! I was able to relax and catch up with my friends and most importantly sleep. I slept in late, watched movies, did a little reading, a tiny bit of homework and enjoyed every moment I could. I ate so much on thanksgiving I thought I was going to burst. I did a little shopping and was able to take a deep breathe from the pressures of school. However, it comes to an end. Tomorrow is school and I will be up at 5:30am following my usual daily routine. As I finally stopped denying that we had school I thought about how much I have to do. I have whole month before the next vacation and a lot can be done and needs to be done. My relaxation period no longer exist. As I open my pink planner for the first time in a week my mind immediately snapped back to its previous mind set. I have to do this, this and this on Monday, Tuesday,  and Wednesday. I have meetings at blah blah and blah and basketball practice following everyday after school. This moment was definitely a WELCOME BACK  school starts tomorrow!

B.F.F

Have you ever meet someone who automatically click with? It's instant like the turning on of a light. It not to often I make close friends. I am not the kind of person who was A WHOLE LOT OF BEST FRIENDS. Best friends actually means something to me, there is substance behind our friendship. Recently I definitely think I've met a new best friend. It wasn't at first sight that I knew or thought about it. As we got to know each other we saw how different we were but at the same time we had a lot in common. The more we hung out the closer we became, and our friendship grew. It's funny how you can meet someone not to long ago but feel like you've known them forever. It's a feeling of insanity to some extent but it can also be a feeling well embraced. There were moments when this new friendship was questionable but at the end of the day we knew, that now that we met, I couldn't live without her and she couldn't live without me.

LIFE WITHOUT MY SUPPORT SYSTEM = NO LIFE AT ALL

It hard to imagine my life without my family and my friends. I would be lonely, quiet and distant from the world if I didn't have them. I enjoy spending time with the people I love most. Laughing, crying and even arguing all help me get by day after day. The constant " I love yous" and " I'm here for you" put a smile on my face. Being surround by my family and friends makes my heart beat fast with excitement and joy. Without them I'm not sure, no I am positive I wouldn't be the joyous person I am today. I call them my "personal support system" because they provide me with support: school, life, etc. I know I am extremely lucky to have them. And yes sometimes I take advantage of them but nonetheless I love them and glad they are in my life, because I know without them life would be unbearable, brutal and lonely.  Life without my support system is equivalent to no life at all.

Fast Food

I have a deep hate for fast food. Every time I think about the greasy burgers, the salty fries and frozen chicken patties I feel myself gag, literally. Fast food angers me. Every time I smell it and see it there is a deep roar in the pit of my stomach and fast beating of my heart. I didn't use to always feel this way. There was a time in my life where I enjoyed fast food. I lived moments when Mc Donalds and Taco Bell were my number one dinner choices. But as I grew older and my family became health consciouses and stopped eating fast food for  a month, the bite of the Big Mac was never the same. I am now addicted to home cooked meals, real meat, and fresh products. I am proud to say my body feels great and I am healthier than ever, and definitely happier. I have made exception though, to sub way and Wendy's "frosties". Every girl has a weakness. All in all, my deep hate for fast food is one of the best hates I will ever have.

Wonderful Fridays

It's wonderful because today is Friday! The word Friday eases my mind and when Friday finally approaches my body eases as well. I am looking forward to being able to sleep in, to do homework with no rush and enjoy myself at home or with my friends. Despite the Thursday we had off this week I am ecstatic for the Friday that is here today. I do enjoy school and being busy but there is nothing much that compares to being not busy and choosing what it is I want to do with every moment. My weekends are not ruled by schedules or meetings. My weekends are for me and that is exactly what I use them for. Today is wonderful because it's Friday. After Friday comes Saturday and after Saturday comes Sunday and that means I get to sleep in a spend time doing exactly what I want to do. Not necessarily what I have to do. Friday's are truly wonderful.

SEASONS

Fall is beautiful. The leaves fall and the burnt orange, red and yellows mix with the beauty of the surrounding atmosphere my heart drops and I inhale a deep breath. The trees become bare but the ground becomes full. When the sun shines but your breath still shows in the air it's a feeling that tends to cause my body to shiver.
Winter is beautiful. The snow covers the ground and prevents daily desires. It forces us to sit and be still or to bask in the nature that surrounds us. Winter is the time for hats and mittens, snow boots and hot chocolate. As winter approaches my body shivers as it does in the fall.
Spring is beautiful. The flowers bloom and the color of the earth returns. The warmth begins to creep into our homes and a layer of jackets gets removed. Spring brings the smell of warm rain . Spring brings the feeling of cozy insides.Spring makes my body shiver as does fall and winter.
Summer is beautiful. Summer brings the heat that allow us to feel accomplished. For many summer is a break from what they have been doing all year. Summer brings outdoor activities, sun and tans. Summer warms the earth and makes my body shiver as do fall, winter, and spring.

Today is Today, Not Yesterday

The only way I could mess up today would be by doing the same things I did yesterday. Everyday is a new day so I have to continue to remember that. Yesterday doesn't matter today because it was yesterday. If I live everyday as though it is brand new, I could accomplish so much more. Yesterdays spills, mistakes, and disappointments belong to yesterday for a reason and I should make reason to bring them into today. God gives me a new day on purpose and the only way I could mess that up is by doing the same things I did yesterday today. Yesterday is yesterday and today is today. I choose not to spread the germs and infestations of yesterday into this new pure white day ahead of me. I choose not to only not bring yesterday but neither the day before yesterday or the month before last into today. I will live every moment to the fullest realizing I have another chance to be better than the moment before. The only way I could mess up today is by doing the same things I did yesterday.

Poem !

I didn't think it would happen, but it did.
At first glance I wasn't sure, but I second glance I was for-sure you
You would be mine
Your face mirrored mine, same smile and lilted eyes
My hearts drops at every hug, my stomach flutters at every touch
I know it's cliche but I know I must say, I never thought I could feel this way.

JUST KEEP GOING

Lately I know I have been over working myself. I have been fitting absolutely everything I can within the 24 hour window given to me each day. Between workouts, meetings, school, family, personal time,eating,sleeping and friends I have definitely drained myself. I just haven't been able to say no. I guess it's because I think I am superwoman and I can save the world. I can't say though that I haven't been pulling it off but I think I've reached my breaking point. I haven't been using my weekends for rest but for staying out all hours of the night and hanging out. And then Sunday cram in about 3-6 hours of homework. During the week because I choose to workout no matter what I've been getting home late and been up till 11 almost 12 finishing things to get ready for the next day. I was pulling it off for the last four weeks about, but now I feel myself getting sick and overall tired. I hate having to pick and choose things but I think I have to. I have to cut out things that aren't necessary. Will I actually do it? Maybe just till I get better. This is one thing that I don't tend to live and learn about. I plan to do everything I can all the time. I would think I would learn by now that stress on my mind and body is not okay. But I haven't, maybe one day I will but as of now, I rather just keep going (as long as I can).